Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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