It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
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