Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Ladies don't puke and tell
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Randomize
