No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
