obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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