it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Did I show you my penis last night?
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
