Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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