She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
