My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize