bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
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