If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
