Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
