I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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