u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Do you remember whose house we're in?
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
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