Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Randomize
