even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize