You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
