Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Be still, my beating vagina.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
