ya dads aren't the best wingmen
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
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