go do what you do best...puke behind churches
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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