What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
