The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
