no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
