i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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