They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
