Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
