I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
