that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
