I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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