i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Randomize
