his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
