So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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