i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
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