I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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