mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
I could have mohawked her pubes.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
