watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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