FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
