p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
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