Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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