that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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