the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
