I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
