This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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