The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Randomize
