Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
