Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I wish I only lived at night.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Randomize
