You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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