Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
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