now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
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