It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
