is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
