Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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