Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
