When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Randomize