plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
You pole danced in your parka.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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