so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize
