Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
