I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
