i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
