pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
did i walk over a car last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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