I'm pants shitting drunk right now
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
