the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Randomize
