wanna go halves on a baby?
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
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