hotel room ftw
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Randomize
