Heybabeimwearingurpanties
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
